Wishes

The song Auld Lang Syne will always remind me of my dad now.

Esp. the Sex & The City version.

Cos I used it for Dad's photo montage at his funeral.

We sang it in church today at the last weekend service of 2008.

And I couldn't help remembering that Dad's not around to go into the new year with us.

I miss him.

I took my family to watch Red Cliff earlier this year.

And at the end of the show, I was dismayed to realise there was a part 2 to it.

I remember thinking, "I hope Dad gets to watch Part 2."

I saw the poster 2 nights ago.

Part 2 is coming out on Jan 9, 2009.

Mum says Dad's prob seen it, and I agree.

I think heaven would have a cinema.

Probably a drive-in one. 

Haha. 

At the beginning of Nov, I thought, "I hope we get to celebrate Dad's berfdae with him this year."

We didn't, but I think he probably had a rocking good time with Jesus.

After all, they share the same birth date :)

This has been a big year for me.

I've been to both ends of the emotional spectrum, and now I'm on the trapeze, somewhere in the middle, trying to adjust.

Don't really know what to expect right now.

At the end of 2008, I feel like relationships in my life have become a little consolidated.

Not something that I intentionally set out to do, but somehow it has happened.

My social circle feels like it has tapered into a bottleneck. 

I am grateful for those who choose to be stuck in the bottleneck with me though. 

One day, we'll squeeze through.

And when we do, I'll be happy to whoosh out in a champagne-pop with you.

For now, I just wish sometimes I had a one-size-fits-all answer for everything; that I was instantly wise and mature enough to take everything that life throws in my stride.

I wish I knew when to be gracious; and when to teach a necessary lesson.

Or when to be scrappy and press in; and when to let go & back off.

But yes, I know it's a journey.

I lurf the journey.

And JX will tell you this: Sometimes I'm so much on the journey I forget the destination...

Or I get waylaid by a bag in a store window display.

But sometimes, I just wish I was already at my destination.

I'm pretty sure I've grown since years ago, or even from last year.

I just wish I could see how much I've grown.

Or someone could put it into words.